Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Everything I Needed to Know About Leading I Learned from Being a Nanny

There are countless books out there that talk about how to manage and lead people.  All of them have good points; however, I have found that where I learned most about managing people was in the trenches of being a full time nanny for four years while finishing school.  I still have yet to hold a better, more rewarding job and 12 years later am still gleaning lessons learned from my time with those precious children.

Make the expectations clear and be consistent with your expectations
I was only 22 going into this nanny job, didn’t have any children of my own, and did not have a lot of experience dealing with kids.  Believe me, babysitting for a couple hours while parents go out is nothing compared to raising children for ten hours a day, five days a week for four years.  Those of you with children know.  No comparison. 

So I think, “How in the world do I get these kids to do what I want them to do without putting the fear of God in them like my mom used to do?”  They were almost four and eight months old.  What did I do?  I sat down and talked with the four year old boy very soon after I started.  We talked about all the fun we could have every day.  We talked about going to the park, the swimming pool, playing outside, inside, and having the neighbor kids over to play too.  We then talked about the only expectation I had from him was that if I needed for him to do something – break for lunch, clean up before the parents came home, help with his sister for a minute – he needed to do it for me with minimal complaining and without me having to be nasty to get him to do it.  Therefore, every day could be a party if he just did what I asked when I asked it.  If not, then no party.  This was my expectation, and I was consistent with it.

You know what?  It worked!  Of the four years I spent with Nathan, 99.9% of the time he met my expectations.  Because of that, I held up my end of the bargain.  We had fun playing, swimming, having up to 10 neighbor kids playing inside the house at once (while maintaining my sanity even), and going to the park.  He even taught me how to throw a football and kick a soccer ball.  Once I obtained my degree and went into a “real world” profession, I tried applying this technique to the adults I managed.  It worked with them as well most of the time.  Meet the expectations and the workplace can be fun and friendly and enjoyable too!  We had birthday parties, joked with each other, and even had fun with a fart machine one day…and they were productive in their jobs!


Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty – part 1
Being a perfectionist and clean freak, I had to learn this early on during my tenure as nanny.  My biggest teacher of this lesson, though, was not the boy but the girl.  She started early as she had a daily issue with spit up.  Almost daily I left work with spit up down the front of my shirt.  There was then the time she decided to put on “make up” with Crayola marker.  There was also the stint of about three days where she evidently thought it would be fun to stick her hands in her poopy diaper after she awoke from her nap and smear it over almost every square inch of her crib and herself.  Fun times!

Fact of the matter is stuff happens, sometimes literally!  Unless someone’s life is threatened, there really is no need to freak out about it.  However, as managers, we do need to roll up our sleeves and help our employees clean up the mess, learn from it in a positive way, and problem solve on what can be done differently so the mess does not happen again.  Luckily Kristin stopped the poop trick on her own because duct tape around the top of the diaper prior to nap time was seriously being considered.  Many times problems, though, don’t just stop themselves.  We have to review processes to see where things can be changed or done differently to avoid the mistake or mess the next time.  Most of the time, this involves direct interaction with us, their managers.  We need to not be so proud as to get down and get our hands dirty with our employees, learn their processes, and help them clean up the mess.  They appreciate it more than we realize and value the interaction.


Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty – part 2
We also cannot be afraid to get in there and do the job with them.  This is very important because it accomplishes two things.
1.      It shows your employees that you do not look at yourself any better than them – aka humility.  When the going gets tough, get right in there with them to get the job done.  Stay late with them and work alongside them.  It shows them that it must not be that bad if you’re willing to do it too.  Nathan when he was four was afraid to gut a pumpkin.  It was way too slimy for him.  However, once he saw that I was willing to stick my hand in there to do the job, then after a minute he was willing as well.  From that point on, every Halloween he helped to gut the pumpkin.  When you do get in the thick of it with your employees, they value it more than they’ll ever admit and will greatly respect you for it.
2.      It gives you the opportunity to review processes.  How can you know if your employee is doing a task the most efficient way if you’ve never done it yourself or even watched it directly being done?  So often we leave the processes the same although we have implemented new software or provided our employees with new tools.  Should the process stay the same?  Have they changed it and not told you?  If so, it should be documented so the next person trained on the task is trained in the most efficient manner.


Love them like your own
This sounds a little odd, I know, but really, do love them like your own family.  After all, you spend more waking hours with these people than you do your own family.  I learned this from spending most of my waking hours with others’ children for four years.  Even to this day, if I knew either of those children needed my help or protection, I would be there.  I most certainly would even risk my own life to save theirs.  They are not my children, but through opening my heart to them and the blessings they gave to me, I in turn learned to love them as much as I could my own children.

This does something too, when you open your heart in this way.  You then have a vested interest in protecting them from harm.  You carefully consider before adding another person to the team because you never want to be forced to lay them off.  You more carefully consider if a person would be a great fit for a position before hiring them because you never want to have to discipline them or, heaven forbid, fire them for poor performance.  Could you still make a bad hiring decision – yes.  Could an employee take advantage of you because of opening yourself up – sure.  However, the benefits far outweigh the negatives with this thought process.  You end up with a team that really is like your family.  You end up with employees that stand up for you the same way you stand up for them, and support and care for you the same way you support and care for them.


Know there will always be problem children…and love them anyway
Sometimes you come across “problem children”.  You may inherit them from other managers or you may make your own bad hiring decision.  Regardless we have to try to find a way to make it work before cutting them loose.  They are people after all, and they need appreciated and cared for too…in fact, that might just be part of their problem.

While being a nanny, we had a little neighbor boy that liked to come over to play with the little girl.  Although his family was well to do, he was the youngest so was frequently “put out” to get out of the mom’s hair, even at only four years old.  Seeing this, I often took him in and grew to love him too regardless of the “problems”.  You see, James broke toys.  I’m not sure what exactly he did, but every time he was over to play inside, some poor toy ended up being a victim.  Eventually we got to where he could only play outside with us because the toy casualties were becoming too high.  We were able to find a work around to make it work with having him over.

Managing problem children in the work place is often this way as well.  Do they just need appreciated?  Is there a work around in this process so they can be successful in their job?  We should look at all possible ways to make it work with them before cutting the ties.  Often we’ll find that it only takes a small change in something to help someone excel.  Sometimes we do actually have employees with which we have to cut ties, but this should only come after trying to make it work.


Look for what you can learn from them
I went into my job as a nanny thinking of everything I was going to teach these children.  They needed to learn their numbers, the alphabet, how to read and write, etc.  What I didn’t consider was everything they would teach me.  They taught me that the people that drive trash trucks are rock stars!  Seriously!  Every week when the trash truck would come, the neighborhood children would go running to watch the guys get the trash and head down to the next house.  As small children, they were as enamored with those guys and their truck as teens are with the latest celebrity heart throb.  It solidified in me truly that everyone is important and to be admired for the hard work they do.

The children also taught me to look for the beauty in everything…to be fascinated with life.  Somehow as adults, we tend to lose this over time…the beauty in a dandelion bloom, the fascination with a fire fly or a small frog, the excitement in making cookies.  Life is a gift after all, so perhaps living it would be more fulfilling if we lived it as such?

Your employees can offer the same learning opportunities.  They may have a life experience that may help you with a problem if we would take the time to get to know them.  They may view a process differently and have a suggestion in improving it, if we would only listen.  Our employees have a wealth of life experiences and knowledge from which we can glean if we only take the time.


Summary

With these take aways from my days being a nanny, I was able to not only lead others in the work place, but also make friends of them.  I have had the privilege of being a part of some great teams and led them mostly with skills that I learned while being a nanny.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Bearing One Another's Burdens

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.  Galatians 6:2

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to return to my hometown for the annual Glass Festival.  Being from a small town, this annual festival ends up being a town reunion of sorts.  Many that no longer live there return to see everyone they have not seen all year or perhaps longer.  It is a wonderful time of catching up and enjoying beautiful Indiana summer days.


This year was the same but also very different.  There were three different occasions where God really spoke to my heart.  On these occurrences, this verse from Galatians kept coming to mind.  The first was while speaking to a relative that is on several committees to develop and bring commerce to the area.  You see, while I was growing up, this area was booming with manufacturing jobs but this is no longer the case.  Now it is rampant with unemployment and poverty.  It is such a sad situation because there are not many jobs close anymore.  I was able to talk to him about this somewhat and how different organizations are working to try to entice companies to locate there.  It makes your heart hurt for the people and want to do something to help.  Not being sure of what I could actually do, this verse came to mind...I can at least bear their burdens and lift this area in prayer.


The second time this verse came to mind was during the community church service that Sunday morning.  The local ministerial association hosts a community church service in the park during this festival.  It is such a blessing to attend because you are able to see many churches put away their denominational differences to come together and worship Christ - the way it should be.  Also during this service, they spoke about the local food pantry** that again all the churches come together to support.  The offering collected that morning was to go toward it.  It was awe inspiring to hear how this little town comes together to provide food, clothing, and money for utility bills for the poor.  Again, bearing one another's burdens to fulfill the law of Christ.


The final time this verse was repeated was a little later that day.  We had just purchased a wreath from a local vendor and was walking down the main aisle of the festival when another vendor came out to ask about the wreath.  She then noticed my husband and I had on our shirts with our church logo on them.  She requested prayer for her step-son that at only 32 was in stage 4 cancer with it in multiple locations throughout his body.  She was obviously distressed over the situation.  Telling us about him and how sorrowful his father was, we asked her if she would like for us to not only pray for them but with her right then.  She was very pleased with this gesture so we prayed with her and left her with a big hug as well.  Again, bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.


So as I go on my week this week, I now have a new perspective.  How can I fulfill Christ's law?  He really does not expect me to lead hundreds of people to him like Billy Graham did in his crusades.  He may never call me to be a well known singer whose songs bless the hearts of thousands.  However, he does call me and all of us to bear one another's burdens to fulfill His law...pray for others, give to others, and be a little more free in handing out compassion, grace and hugs.  Try it!  It blesses all involved, and I'm fairly certain it makes God smile.


**The local food pantry is the George Morrisett Center.  If you'd like to donate to this wonderful resource for the poor of Elwood and the surrounding area, call (765) 552-5570.

Friday, August 15, 2014

The Desires of Our Heart

This morning as I was enjoying my quiet time reading my devotional, something came to me regarding Psalm 37:4 which reads:
 Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.
If I am delighting in the Lord, won't the desires of my heart be what His will is and not my own?  They should be...should being the key word here.  That is easier said than done, though!  With still being in this world and human, we too often desire what we want instead of what He wants for our life.

This makes me think of our struggle with infertility...what is His will for our life?  Sure most couples wish and desire for children that are a blend of their own DNA and to experience the miracle of pregnancy and childbirth.  We did...and still do from time to time.  However, we do also delight in the Lord, so our ultimate desire of our heart should be His desire for our life which sometimes differs from our own desires.  What we need to keep in mind, though, when it does differ is that God's plan is ALWAYS better than our plan because He knows the Big Plan - eternity.  Which is why here lately I've also been trying to keep my focus Ephesians 3:20, "Now to Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us."  Exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think...that is truly amazing and mind boggling to think about!

So today as we continue on our day, let's work on making our desires His desires.  What are His desires for our life?  They are exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think!  That is surely worthy of our continual delight!