There
are countless books out there that talk about how to manage and lead
people. All of them have good points;
however, I have found that where I learned most about managing people was in
the trenches of being a full time nanny for four years while finishing
school. I still have yet to hold a
better, more rewarding job and 12 years later am still gleaning lessons learned
from my time with those precious children.
Make the expectations clear and be consistent with
your expectations
I
was only 22 going into this nanny job, didn’t have any children of my own, and did
not have a lot of experience dealing with kids.
Believe me, babysitting for a couple hours while parents go out is
nothing compared to raising children for ten hours a day, five days a week for
four years. Those of you with children
know. No comparison.
So
I think, “How in the world do I get these kids to do what I want them to do
without putting the fear of God in them like my mom used to do?” They were almost four and eight months
old. What did I do? I sat down and talked with the four year old
boy very soon after I started. We talked
about all the fun we could have every day.
We talked about going to the park, the swimming pool, playing outside,
inside, and having the neighbor kids over to play too. We then talked about the only expectation I
had from him was that if I needed for him to do something – break for lunch,
clean up before the parents came home, help with his sister for a minute – he
needed to do it for me with minimal complaining and without me having to be
nasty to get him to do it. Therefore,
every day could be a party if he just did what I asked when I asked it. If not, then no party. This was my expectation, and I was consistent
with it.
You
know what? It worked! Of the four years I spent with Nathan, 99.9%
of the time he met my expectations. Because
of that, I held up my end of the bargain.
We had fun playing, swimming, having up to 10 neighbor kids playing inside
the house at once (while maintaining my sanity even), and going to the
park. He even taught me how to throw a
football and kick a soccer ball. Once I
obtained my degree and went into a “real world” profession, I tried applying
this technique to the adults I managed.
It worked with them as well most of the time. Meet the expectations and the workplace can
be fun and friendly and enjoyable too! We
had birthday parties, joked with each other, and even had fun with a fart
machine one day…and they were productive in their jobs!
Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty – part 1
Being
a perfectionist and clean freak, I had to learn this early on during my tenure
as nanny. My biggest teacher of this
lesson, though, was not the boy but the girl.
She started early as she had a daily issue with spit up. Almost daily I left work with spit up down
the front of my shirt. There was then
the time she decided to put on “make up” with Crayola marker. There was also the stint of about three days
where she evidently thought it would be fun to stick her hands in her poopy
diaper after she awoke from her nap and smear it over almost every square inch
of her crib and herself. Fun times!
Fact
of the matter is stuff happens, sometimes literally! Unless someone’s life is threatened, there
really is no need to freak out about it.
However, as managers, we do need to roll up our sleeves and help our
employees clean up the mess, learn from it in a positive way, and problem solve
on what can be done differently so the mess does not happen again. Luckily Kristin stopped the poop trick on her
own because duct tape around the top of the diaper prior to nap time was
seriously being considered. Many times
problems, though, don’t just stop themselves.
We have to review processes to see where things can be changed or done
differently to avoid the mistake or mess the next time. Most of the time, this involves direct
interaction with us, their managers. We
need to not be so proud as to get down and get our hands dirty with our
employees, learn their processes, and help them clean up the mess. They appreciate it more than we realize and value the interaction.
Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty – part 2
We
also cannot be afraid to get in there and do the job with them. This is very important because it
accomplishes two things.
1.
It
shows your employees that you do not look at yourself any better than them –
aka humility. When the going gets tough,
get right in there with them to get the job done. Stay late with them and work alongside
them. It shows them that it must not be
that bad if you’re willing to do it too.
Nathan when he was four was afraid to gut a pumpkin. It was way too slimy for him. However, once he saw that I was willing to
stick my hand in there to do the job, then after a minute he was willing as
well. From that point on, every
Halloween he helped to gut the pumpkin.
When you do get in the thick of it with your employees, they value it
more than they’ll ever admit and will greatly respect you for it.
2.
It
gives you the opportunity to review processes.
How can you know if your employee is doing a task the most efficient way
if you’ve never done it yourself or even watched it directly being done? So often we leave the processes the same
although we have implemented new software or provided our employees with new
tools. Should the process stay the
same? Have they changed it and not told
you? If so, it should be documented so
the next person trained on the task is trained in the most efficient manner.
Love them like your own
This
sounds a little odd, I know, but really, do love them like your own
family. After all, you spend more waking
hours with these people than you do your own family. I learned this from spending most of my
waking hours with others’ children for four years. Even to this day, if I knew either of those
children needed my help or protection, I would be there. I most certainly would even risk my own life
to save theirs. They are not my
children, but through opening my heart to them and the blessings they gave to
me, I in turn learned to love them as much as I could my own children.
This
does something too, when you open your heart in this way. You then have a vested interest in protecting
them from harm. You carefully consider
before adding another person to the team because you never want to be forced to
lay them off. You more carefully
consider if a person would be a great fit for a position before hiring them
because you never want to have to discipline them or, heaven forbid, fire them
for poor performance. Could you still
make a bad hiring decision – yes. Could
an employee take advantage of you because of opening yourself up – sure. However, the benefits far outweigh the negatives
with this thought process. You end up
with a team that really is like your family.
You end up with employees that stand up for you the same way you stand
up for them, and support and care for you the same way you support and care for
them.
Know there will always be problem children…and love
them anyway
Sometimes
you come across “problem children”. You
may inherit them from other managers or you may make your own bad hiring
decision. Regardless we have to try to
find a way to make it work before cutting them loose. They are people after all, and they need
appreciated and cared for too…in fact, that might just be part of their
problem.
While
being a nanny, we had a little neighbor boy that liked to come over to play
with the little girl. Although his
family was well to do, he was the youngest so was frequently “put out” to get
out of the mom’s hair, even at only four years old. Seeing this, I often took him in and grew to
love him too regardless of the “problems”.
You see, James broke toys. I’m
not sure what exactly he did, but every time he was over to play inside, some
poor toy ended up being a victim.
Eventually we got to where he could only play outside with us because
the toy casualties were becoming too high.
We were able to find a work around to make it work with having him over.
Managing
problem children in the work place is often this way as well. Do they just need appreciated? Is there a work around in this process so
they can be successful in their job? We
should look at all possible ways to make it work with them before cutting the
ties. Often we’ll find that it only
takes a small change in something to help someone excel. Sometimes we do actually have employees with
which we have to cut ties, but this should only come after trying to make it
work.
Look for what you can learn from them
I
went into my job as a nanny thinking of everything I was going to teach these
children. They needed to learn their
numbers, the alphabet, how to read and write, etc. What I didn’t consider was everything they
would teach me. They taught me that the
people that drive trash trucks are rock stars!
Seriously! Every week when the
trash truck would come, the neighborhood children would go running to watch the
guys get the trash and head down to the next house. As small children, they were as enamored with
those guys and their truck as teens are with the latest celebrity heart
throb. It solidified in me truly that
everyone is important and to be admired for the hard work they do.
The
children also taught me to look for the beauty in everything…to be fascinated
with life. Somehow as adults, we tend to
lose this over time…the beauty in a dandelion bloom, the fascination with a
fire fly or a small frog, the excitement in making cookies. Life is a gift after all, so perhaps living
it would be more fulfilling if we lived it as such?
Your
employees can offer the same learning opportunities. They may have a life experience that may help
you with a problem if we would take the time to get to know them. They may view a process differently and have
a suggestion in improving it, if we would only listen. Our employees have a wealth of life
experiences and knowledge from which we can glean if we only take the time.
Summary
With
these take aways from my days being a nanny, I was able to not only lead others
in the work place, but also make friends of them. I have had the privilege of being a part of
some great teams and led them mostly with skills that I learned while being a
nanny.
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