Friday, December 19, 2014

Minimizing Stress at the Holidays

Every year for many, we go through the same thing.  “I have to spend $X on such and such.”  “I have to throw this Christmas get together and have a big meal, and it is all homemade.”  “So and so will expect us to be at their Christmas party, even though I don’t even like them.”  “We have to put up this elaborate Christmas display both outside and inside.”  Why do we do this to ourselves?  Where is Christ in all this?

A few years ago, I made some changes for the holidays that I thought I’d share.  I was in a job working 60+ hours a week during December and was on the verge of a stroke by the time Christmas came each year.  So some changes were made and continue to be made to make Christmas time more Christ centered, honoring to Him, and less about me and the worldliness of it all.

Keep the focus on Him.  After all, it’s His birthday.  How would he want us to celebrate?
Do we really think He would want light displays like that of Clark Griswald?  Piles and piles of gifts that either break the bank or put us in debt until next Christmas?  Parties to show off our home or culinary skills?  To me, that sounds like we are celebrating us, not Him.  Read the Christmas Story.  To me, that sounds pretty simple…three gifts, and the party was in a cave.

Simplify.  Don’t worry about keeping up with the Joneses because they are in debt up to their eyeballs and on the verge of heart failure from stress.  Is that the price you really want to pay to have all they have?  Probably not. 

Don’t get me wrong – I’m all about festive!  There are people I know that just LOVE Christmas and all that goes with it.   Our neighbor two doors down gets out the day after Thanksgiving and puts up this wonderful display with lights and a sleigh – the works!  He has turned this into a tradition that he does with his kids – family time!  You can tell that he loves Christmas!  He’d probably help others hang lights if we asked him because he just loves it!  That’s great!  However, don’t feel like you HAVE to go all out if you don’t want to decorate.  We have Christmastimes in our home where we are very festive and decorate inside and out.  Other seasons where all we have out is the nativity.  The thing is to get to the point where that is okay.  Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t feel very festive or have time for festive.  The important part of Christmas is the first five letters – CHRIST.  Sometimes not getting wrapped up in the festivities allows more time for reflection, prayer, and worship of our Savior.  I have found many times that is the best present I can give myself so that I can give of myself with full fervor in the new year.

Another area where you can simplify is around the party and cooking area.  Simplify the parties!  A few years ago I hosted a Christmas party for my team at the time at our home.  Mind you, this was when I was putting in the 60+ hours a week.  I got to the place where I said “forget it!” and made a trip to Sam’s Club the day before the party.  That night we served a meat & cheese tray with croissants, nacho dip and chips, a veggie tray, a fruit tray, and meatballs.  The only thing I cooked for the main meal was the ground beef to put in the nacho dip.  Now, I LOVE to bake, so I did do sugar cookies and gingerbread men for dessert.  They ate up almost every scrap we had and had a blast!  It was extremely wonderful to have the ability for all of us to fellowship together outside of work, and I think they loved it that we opened our home to them.  By simplifying the prep for the party, it took pressure off my husband and me and allowed us to enjoy our guests.

I also have limited the number of gifts we give.  With not having children, we would go all out for our parents.  It would be a stress because we would end up spending really too much and plus trying to figure out what to get them.  By our age, our parents already have everything anyway.  So we limited it to three gifts.  Christ only had three gifts, and if it's good enough for Christ, it most certainly is good enough for us.  It makes shopping much easier.

Lastly, don’t stress out over cleaning.  People should not be over to your house to perform the white glove test, and if they are, you don’t need to invite them.  You want to focus on keeping your home somewhat tidy always, and there are tons of ideas out there on how to easily do that, but then also remember:



Start planning early.  In Dave Ramsey’s videos, he says something that most laugh at but at the same time is so true.  He talks about how Christmas is December 25th every year!  There is no variation.  Most laugh at that statement, but how many of us wait until the last minute to buy gifts, save for gifts, etc.?  At our home, we buy Christmas supplies (wrapping paper, ribbons, gift tags, perhaps even cards) the day after Christmas.  This saves money because everything is half off at least, and then you’re fully stocked and ready to go for next year when the time comes around again.  We also start looking for gifts come about August.  This gives us plenty of time to collect them, and we store them in a closet until when we need to wrap them.  It also gives you time to keep an eye out for good sales without having to fight the Black Friday crowd.  The remainder of gifts we buy online.  Most places offer free shipping deals by Thanksgiving, and if you shop through a site such as Ebates, you can earn money back on your online purchases.  Every little bit helps!

Focus on the true meaning of hospitality.  According to dictionary.com, hospitality is "the friendly reception and treatment of guests or strangers."  It also gives “the quality or disposition of receiving and treating guests and strangers in a warm, friendly, generous way.”  So I read that to say that hospitality is about how you treat your guests.  You don’t have to feel the pressure to serve a five course dinner or clean and deck your halls to rival those of the Biltmore Estate.  You simply show them warmth and kindness while they are in your home.  A great example of this is several years ago a friend invited me over to visit.  I do not get to see her very often at all, so was honored for the time she put aside for me because she also had 4 young children at the time.  I arrived around 10 a.m…enough time that the children had been up for a while and active…did I mention 3 of them were boys under the age of 5?  They are like little tornadoes.  They remind me of this meme:

Regardless of her children’s agenda that day, she welcomed me in with warmth and friendliness.  We had a wonderful visit and even were able to enjoy lunch with her children.  That is hospitality.  She is a great example of hospitality!

Because of this, when I have others over, I try to keep this story in mind.  My house does not have to be perfect.  What will stay in their mind is the time with you.  I had to learn this the hard way these past years…it’s people that matter, not perfection.

Therefore, as you finish up this holiday season and gear up for parties, keep these tips in mind.  It makes for a much easier and less stressful holiday time where you can better keep your focus on Christ and enjoy your family and friends!





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